12 Nov

I Channeled Bruce But Should Have Channeled Steve Irwin

By Sharni

Today I channeled Bruce but should have been channeling Steve Irwin.

Cowboy parked the Ride On Mower at the front door, he was coming in for a break.

Monte immediately ran out to sit on it. I was lingering next to him making sure he didn’t switch on the ignition. We were all sort of hanging around the mower when Cowboy did a funny leap in the air.

I looked at his face and could see immense fear. “Grab Monte!” he said looking down at the mower.

Immediately I felt like Bruce Willis as I grabbed Monte and ran as quick as I could because clearly the mower, it was about to blow!

It’s funny, in retrospect, what your mind conjurs up at moments like this.

The fear on Cowboy’s face as he looked down at the mower, in that split second I knew we had seconds to escape the enormous blow-out – in my sporting anklet socks I fetched Monte and took flying leaps the hell out of there.

At least 50 metres away we turned back, the explosion still yet to happen – to see Cowboy with shovel in hand saying.

“Get in the Car NOW– Is Monte OK?”

“What HAPPENED????” I asked my nerves now sitting on the outside of my skin. ” A huge Brown Snake was just at Monte’s feet!”

Well holy snapping duckshit. It was just THIS MORNING I told Cowboy how I had never, in my life, seen a live snake. In fact, I still hadn’t. Even though this massive piece of work could have been right at my sporting anklet socks.

Holy Shit why did I google an image. No sleep for me EVER AGAIN!!

We sat in the car. Windows up. Shaking. Monte wanting to go out to Daddy —-

Daddy armed with a shovel, pale — looking for the culprit.

Looking, looking – convinced he went behind our front step.

We waited, we looked — we didn’t see him again.

I hope this isn’t a sign of things to come this Summer. Bring the mice back any day.

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11 Nov

Going Below Your Limit

By Sharni

I was travelling home from work yesterday on the 100km strip behind a car doing 97km per hour.

This grated on my nerves.

Going so annoyingly just under the speed limit felt…. well… annoying!

Moments of clarity can arrive  at the most unexpected times.

I became acutely aware of the frustration I was feeling. I became aware that I was contemplating the ‘over-take’, I noticed that I was muttering obscenities and then I took a look at myself and said “What does it matter? What’s the rush?”

It’s just so annoyingly under the speed limit. 3kms FASTER YOU IDIOT! JUST 3KMS FASTER!


I consciously decided to not overtake the car. No matter how the frustration rose in me.

I decided I was not going to call them an ‘idiot’ or think unholy thoughts about the driver.

Instead, I was going to see the 97km per hour driver as some sort of teacher.

Yep,  I was going to follow this car home at 97km per hour and I was going to learn a lesson in it.

It soon became apparent I was the only driver on the road undergoing this spiritual lesson.

Hotted up cars with loud engines  zoomed by us, trucks with stuff to deliver overtook us without a second thought.

Then something peculiar happened.

My frustration morphed into a kind’ve smugness.

For what, I wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was because I was in the moment – I realised that there was no rush, and that the whole hurry up, you are an idiot thing was really so crazy.

So on just another Thursday afternoon, Monte and I travelled home at 97km per hour and life went on. We slowed it down a notch and went with the flow of the spiritual teacher in the car in front of me. (Who I think might have been the bloke from the local servo)

I have decided from now on whenever I feel an irrational desire for things to go quicker – I am going to force myself to go just below my limit and see how it feels.

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04 Nov

Winners – Pure & Simple (plus offer for those who missed out!)

By Sharni

Congratulations to Colleen Harris and Sarah Brown, winners of Simplicity Parenting – through Little Acorn Books.

Juliette had a hard time choosing the winner, and kindly extended it to TWO, she has now extended her generosity further and would like to offer 10% discount to other entrants!

Simply (a theme here??) enter Sharni10 as your Coupon Code when shopping at her store.

If you are a Mama I think you will love what she has on offer. You can go here to check it out.

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04 Nov

A Letter To My 90 Year Old Self

By Sharni

A little while on my Sharnanigans Facebook page I asked readers for some help with ideas for blogging again. Susan Williams suggested I write a letter to my 90 year old self. This was a strange exercise, it kind’ve changed from what I’d say to my 90 year old self back to what I thought she might say to me.

Dear my 90 Year Old Self,

Wow, you made it to 90! I’m guessing you must have finally made some changes to your sugar addiction then eh?

How does your life look from where you are sitting?

I do hope that you are a content old lady, not one living with bitterness or regret. I am sure by now life has thrown you some heartache and loss, that I haven’t experienced much of while I write this letter to you.

I am sure by now you are not measuring your success by whether or not you managed to get a flat tummy again after becoming a Mum, in fact, I hope that those child/ren (??)  you raised so lovingly — are now there by your side, loving you right back.

I hope that you are still finding the humor in things, even when things become difficult. If there is one thing that has served me in life up until now (my 32nd year) it is that. Being able to laugh at yourself, accept yourself and the realisation that the grass isn’t greener on the other side….

You know the rest.

I hope you are still writing, and making sense of the world through it.

I hope you have beautiful grandchildren, perhaps great grandchildren.

This letter up til now has been a bit wishy washy, hasn’t it? A bit generalised, typical stuff you would say to your 90 year old self. Cliched even.

So I’m going to cut the crap and say what I really hope for you.

I really hope that you have finally learned to stop sabotaging yourself. I hope you learned to break free past all the conditioned thoughts that held you back. I hope you were able to change the records in your head that kept you at a certain level, when I know that you wanted to shoot for the stars. I know as you got older possibilities felt less possible – I hope you broke through this and realised that everything was possible.

I hope you still have Cowboy by your side after a long beautiful life together, I hope you have many beautiful life memories, wisdom from the hard times and the ability to laugh.

I hope that you did nurture that spiritual side of yours, wrote and wrote and wrote – and I really hope that one day, you were able to make your living out of writing.

I hope all these things for you.

And as I write it I realise, I have the power in my hands right now, to make these things a reality for you, for me – for us.

I can  begin now, to accept myself as I am and to love and appreciate what I am creating right now, will be a memory for you. And I am sure as you are sitting there reading this you are willing the 32 year old me “For God’s Sake! Stop Worrying and ENJOY!!!!! What you have is precious — you have NOTHING to worry about – go forth and live!”

I owe it to you, 90 year old me, to get on with it and be happy.

See you a lot later,

Sharni xx

2 Comments
01 Nov

An Anonymous Creepie Crawlie

By Sharni

A crawly bit my foot

I thought it might be a red backed creature

I googled the symptoms

And waited

Cowboy rubbed my foot

While I awaited paralysis

I nodded off to sleep

I woke up alive

With feeling in all parts

It must have been an earwig

Thank-you earwig for saving my life.

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31 Oct

Searching For The Quiet Moments

By Sharni

I’ve noticed, and maybe raved on a bit about, how since returning to the ’9-5 answering to the man’ working world, I have lost that magical part of myself I discovered largely after having Monte.

That side of myself that noticed dragonflies perching still for too long; had wonderful life lessons presented to me clearly on a daily basis, and noticed gifts from the ‘other side’.

After the ‘pause’ that is new Motherhood – it seems you are again flung into the world of deadlines, punctuality, greed, keeping up with the Jones ‘, while battling with a technology explosion.

Everybody is hooked up, in touch, permanently, nothing is sacred, private – we are deeply involved in the minutiae  of each other’s lives. I am starting to think we are so caught up in the novelty of all this that we have lost touch with our ability to just, be – exist, not have to know everything about each other (says I writing a blog and frantically updating my status).

Modern life is leaving little room to receive a message from the Universe, how could we hear it over our beeping i-phone, the blaring television, or the latest youtube videoclip sweeping the nation.

I am in the thick of it – but the novelty is wearing off. I am starting to miss the pause, the silence, the moment where you notice what ‘is’.

I’m missing my messages from Dragonflies and rainbows.

How about you? Are you in the thick of it? Or do you have a way to access the quiet?

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30 Oct

Monte-ism – Toddler Years (20)

By Sharni

“When you grin, make it ear to ear – having a fun Dad to muck around with will help your cause”

- Monte

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30 Oct

A Great Grandma

By Sharni

I visited my nearly 93 year old Grandma in hospital yesterday afternoon. My only remaining grandparent who resides in the OHT.

The Grandma with the slick one-liners, an independent streak a mile long – and the most caring of hearts you will ever meet. The grandma who gave me a taste for beetroot, walked off in the middle of plays I performed for her, and always had a fridge stocked with ginger beer.

The one that is 30 years older than my Mum, who is 30 years older than me, who is 30 years older than Monte.

The trooper who swears by an apple a day.

She was sent over to Griffith Hospital from the OHT after having a fall. I have been up there the last couple of days hanging out while she has felt so nauseous and yuck.

I took Monte with me a couple of times which seemed to cheer her up and I was tickled with pride when he spontaneously told her “I hope you feel better soon Grandma” and gave her a big cuddle and kiss.

Technically, she is my Grandma and Monte’s Great Grandma — and funnily, her other ‘great grandchildren’ refer to her as “Great Grandma”, it’s pretty special I reckon.

I just hated seeing her in this drab, sterile hospital.

I don’t think anybody likes hospitals, but couldn’t they do something to improve the vibes in the place? Couldn’t they?

I felt so helpless and Grandma was lying there feeling nauseous, unable to eat with a bossy nurse yelling at her “You have to eat sweetheart, ” with Grandma replying “It’s hard to eat when you feel sick” and then zero empathy coming from the Nurse.

The good news is, she is going back to the OHT today, where she will stay in the more familiar OHT Hospital for a bit before returning to my Parents place.

She never ceases to amaze me how uncomfortable she is with anybody expressing care or concern over her.

I have heard there is a certain breed of Grandmother who thinks the world needs to stop to care for her, the type who forgets anybody else has lives to get on with. My Grandmother is the opposite.

She physically squirms if you pay her a visit, or stay for too long, she is convinced everybody else has stuff they need to do, or their own problems to be concerned with sitting with her up in the hospital.

If only she knew, or would really listen when we say:

There is NOTHING more important than sitting there, by her side in the hospital. Nothing.

She is seemingly unaware of just how treasured she is.

She doesn’t see that sitting next to her in the hospital, getting angry on her behalf when the nurses are being bossy, or not giving her as much attention as we think she deserves, it is not a hassle!

We haven’t got something better to do, or something bigger to worry about.

We simply love her to the moon and back and sitting by her side while she is feeling absolutely awful is number one on the priority list.

You hear that Grandma? Can someone read this to her?

We love you and hate seeing you sick.

4 Comments
30 Oct

WIN A COPY OF SIMPLICITY PARENTING!

By Sharni

I recently blogged about Juliette from Little Acorn Books who asked me to review “Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne, M.Ed

I did so, in fact not only did I review the book, I’m living it!! Some of the ideas I have picked up from the book have been really beneficial to life in our household and I am very excited to be able to give away a copy to one reader.

The book is described:

Today’s busier, faster society is waging an undeclared war on childhood. With too much stuff, too many choices, and too little time, children can become anxious, have trouble with friends and school, or even be diagnosed with behavioral problems. Now internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne helps parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their attention to deepen and their individuality to flourish.

Simplicity Parenting offers inspiration, ideas, and a blueprint for change:

To enter is easy, make sure you “like” Sharnanigans and Little Acorn Books on Facebook – then leave a comment below on what areas of Parenting you’d like to simplify.

Juliette will choose the winner on Friday!

Good luck!

7 Comments
24 Oct

Monte-ism – Toddler Years (19)

By Sharni

“Dress for the job you want”

- Monte

1 Comment